When we consider how best to manage unwanted student behaviour in our schools, we need to think carefully about the outcomes we want for everyone in our school community, and why we want them.

A first consideration of any behaviour management practice may well be simply to stop ‘bad’, antisocial or disruptive behaviour and promote ‘good’, more socially accepted alternatives. But there are other powerful considerations that significantly influence how we pursue these aims, and how effective we are.

Arguably, one of the most important is ‘justice’.

Are we trying to manage poor behaviour in a way that ensures justice is enacted? Or is justice an outdated, or even inappropriate, consideration when dealing with young people? Perhaps we would be better focusing on ‘connection and cohesion’, and on developing a stronger sense of belonging for everyone involved. 

Certainly, poor behaviour can hurt others emotionally, socially and sometimes physically; particularly when it involves aggression or bullying. It is therefore entirely understandable that we want to address the distress, injury and loss of safety experienced by those affected.  But should this equate to a search for justice? Or should our focus be on developing healthier relationships between stakeholders, greater understanding, and better support for everyone within the community?

There are good reasons we do not let the family and friends of victims take up jury positions in court. When we are personally impacted by another person’s behaviour, it is understandable that we want to see some sort of rebalancing of power. We want acknowledgement of the harm done. We may even want revenge. But revenge rarely equates to reconciliation, learning, or the opportunity for everyone involved to move forward well.

We live in a world with a ‘justice system’ built, at least in part, around ideas of wrongdoing and punishment. Punishment can offer a sense that something has been done to counter an unwanted action and that some degree of control and order has been restored. Yet, as much as punishment may offer some comfort to those negatively impacted by another person’s behaviour, and may sometimes act as a deterrent, it rarely tells us much about why that behaviour occurred in the first place.

Most people do not simply choose to act badly. Life circumstances and social context can severely limit people’s options, reinforce unhealthy learning and, at times, contribute to desperate decisions. Punishment may feel like a desirable outcome when someone has hurt us or someone we love, but punishment alone does not address trauma, poor relationships, inadequate support, or the circumstances surrounding many people who act outside the norms of their broader communities.

It makes sense to remove people from a community when they pose a serious danger to others. There are behaviours that schools simply cannot, and should not, be expected to manage without exclusion or external intervention.  However, I think it is reasonable to suggest that the vast majority of unwanted behaviours we see in young people are neither irreparable nor impossible to address.  Young people are still learning. They are still growing. And they need opportunities to make mistakes and learn from them.

In many cases, poor behaviour emerges within struggling relationships and unhealthy contexts. Things that can be improved and developed over time. Punishment, in contrast, can offer very little opportunity to learn the norms, knowledge and skills needed to act differently in the future.

We can see an extreme version of this in the adult world. People who spend time ‘behind bars’ may lose homes, relationships, employment and many of the secure foundations they need to successfully reconnect with society. It is incredibly difficult for someone who has been excluded, even if that exclusion followed their own actions, to subsequently act in accordance with the values of the community they have been excluded from.

Similarly, it is difficult for a child to internalise the norms of a classroom they are repeatedly removed from. And it is equally difficult for a young person to connect successfully with a community once they have been labelled ‘bad’, ‘difficult’ or ‘untrustworthy’.

If we want young people who are making poor choices to learn to act differently, one of the most powerful things we can do is help them internalise healthier community values. And to do this while developing the knowledge and skills they need to manage their emotions, relationships and behaviour more effectively.

We know from social psychology that people internalise the normative beliefs and behaviours of the groups to which they feel they belong. If we genuinely belong to communities characterised by support, kindness and acceptance, we are more likely to internalise those values ourselves.

In this, perhaps one of the most important questions we can ask when responding to poor behaviour is:

‘How can we help this young person better belong to a healthy school community?’

 Importantly, this does not mean overlooking the needs of those who have been hurt. Young people and staff impacted by poor student behaviour need to be heard, understood and supported. Additional measures may be needed to help them feel safe moving forward. Their needs should never become secondary to those of the student whose behaviour caused the harm.

But supporting those who have been impacted does not automatically require us to exclude the person responsible. It means listening to and seeing those who have been harmed, and providing them with support, understanding and guidance for the future. At the same time, students who need to change their behaviour need opportunities to internalise healthier community norms, with appropriate guidance, support, accountability and understanding.

We all want to prevent unwanted behaviour and consistently stand against behaviour that harms others in our schools. I believe we need to find ways of doing this that ensure ‘those who are impacted’ feel heard, seen and safe, and those ‘doing the impacting’ are helped to learn, change and better belong.

There will always be a limit to what a school can reasonably do. There will always be a boundary that, once crossed, requires exclusion in order to protect others. But until that boundary is crossed, perhaps our focus should be less on asking: ‘What does this student deserve?’ And more on asking: ‘What does everyone involved need in order to move forward well?’

That means continually helping young people develop healthier relationships with others, with a focus on understanding, accountability, acceptance, emotional co-regulation and genuine connection. Ultimately, I believe that good behaviour management is not simply about stopping behaviour we don’t want. It is fundamentally about creating the conditions in which young people can learn to behave differently, and belong well.

 HelenStreet.com

 PositiveSchools.com.au

 

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